“Hell.” Sheppard said finally because what else could you say?

He never should have asked. He never would have asked if it wasn’t for Zelenka’s damned spoon-dissolving sense-killing green brew. Talk about a way to sober up.

The Wraith opposite him didn’t seem to have noticed, ‘cept maybe Sheppard thought the only reason he said all that was the damned green stuff. He made a silent vow to kill Zelenka.

As if on que Todd picked up the glass he could reach with the restraints and downed it in a gulp.

“I do not understand what effect this is supposed to produce Sheppard.”

So much for that theory.

“It’s probably a human thing.”

Or a Czech thing. Or a scientist thing, but if it was a scientist thing would it count for Wraith scientists as well? A mental image of Todd singing one of the physics department’s drinking songs staggered through his brain, John choked to stop himself chuckling.

“Are you well John Sheppard?”

He snorted. “I think I drank too much…”

“These chemicals have an adverse affect on you?”

“You could say that yeah.” Because of course listening to that wouldn’t.

Sheppard suddenly realised that, whether it was Zelenka’s fault or not, he needed more of that science-lab Pegasus special. He put his cards down, somehow remembering to put them face down, not that either of them had been paying any attention to the game for the past half hour. He got up and felt inordinately proud of how straight his course (all two steps of it) to the bottle of green paint-stripper was. Take that SGC, reduced tolerance and lack of practice my ass. He poured himself and Todd generous measures that mostly went in the glasses. He left the bottle between them because he doubted he’d be able to get up and reach it again after he’d drunk enough to stop thinking about…

“And yet you continue to drink it.” The Wraith observed as he downed the shot.

“Yep,” Sheppard replied, waving the glass in what was hopefully not a completely deranged way. “See there’s a lot about human’s you don’t know.”

“Clearly.”

May be it was just that he’d had too many but Sheppard could have sworn the Wraith was suddenly looking at the glass in front of him suspiciously. Probably thinks I’ve poisoned him. John chuckled. How many of these bottles did it take to get a Wraith drunk, they couldn’t have any of that built up tolerance those SGC bastards had gone on about, unless they had secret frat-parties aboard those Hive ships….

John snorted a mouthful of Zelenka’s special, and spent the next five minutes choking.

“I think you have consumed enough Sheppard.”

They both reached for the bottle, John tugged it out of the reach of his ‘guest’s’ restraints. Hell we’ve tied him up the same way as… May be it was the Midway Station’s fault as well as Zelenka’s, damn three day quarantines and McKay suddenly taking advantage of a chance to sleep. And him feeling the need to socialise with the only other inhabitant of the Pegasus galaxy on board was, in retrospect, not his best idea. 

Being stuck on Midway too long with a bunch of cocky IOA men and a squad of bored marines who were wishing for the good ol’ Goa’uld days wasn’t exactly a recipe for clear thinking. It got a bit…cabin-feverish during transit. McKay’s prescription of hibernation hadn’t helped. Stupid Midway, stupid IOA, stupid rules, stupid stupid-

“Sheppard,”

The bit of his brain still functioning for the purposes of sarcasm filled in the gap. ‘Does your kind regularly poison themselves for recreation’ perhaps, or ‘If you continue at this rate you will soon be completely unable to’-

“You should sleep.”

Huh.

It was sensible advice. He’d had too much when he asked, and the answer had made him down a good deal more. Todd was right, he’d spent too much time in the ‘cell’ which was really more of a large storage closet with a lock on the outside of the door and a point on the wall you could latch the thing holding Todd’s hands by his sides to. There were marines at the door, but since Todd couldn’t go more then a pace away from the other wall it didn’t make much of a difference. The privacy…..

Hell he couldn’t leave him here. Not tonight. Not after hearing that. Not when they had him locked in an oversized closet with no furniture and he was tied to the wall the way Kolya used to keep him on the good days. No.

John got to his feet; a small sober part of his brain told him that this was exceptionally stupid.

He stepped closer. Todd didn’t move, and since the Wraith did not seem interested in trying to break free and eat him Sheppard lent over and started fumbling with the locks. Something clicked free remarkably quickly take that Zelenka’s green special and John was hauling Todd to his feet. The Wraith to his credit looked about as surprised as if he’d just discovered the rest of his species had opted for a vegetarian lifestyle in his absence. John staggered forwards and hammered on the door.

“Sir?”

“He’s coming with me.”

Sheppard never entirely remembered how he’d managed to persuade them that taking a Wraith back to crash in one of the bunks in his room was a good idea. Or how he managed to persuade them Todd wasn’t going to eat him. Perhaps by that point they’d already decided the commander of Atlantis had cracked and was better off as Wraith-food then back in charge of the biggest piece of Ancient tech they had. Either way he ended up staggering down the corridor, mostly supported by said Wraith who was also noticeably wobbly on his feet. Take that super-charged immune system, Zelenka 1, Wraith nil. Marines trailed after them, he heard them take up station outside the door before he managed to get it shut properly and sound was cut out.

“Thought you might appreciate a proper bed,” Sheppard explained in a slur.

He stumbled and collapsed on the bottom bunk. Todd attempted to get into the top one and didn’t precisely succeed. Zelenka 2, Wraith nil. Todd sat next to him.

“I believe your…alcohol is beginning to have an affect.”

John snickered and then a Wraith was lying beside him.

Their species must have never got the whole personal space thing, because Todd was far too close, not that there was room on one Midway station bunk for space but… Was this meant to be terrifying, or just weird?

He didn’t exactly realise he wanted to trace that tattoo until his fingers were already on it, but Todd didn’t snarl and he didn’t seem to mind…. God their eyes were weird, a bright bright yellow with a slit black pupil like a scar over it, which was stretching in front of him until it was almost completely round. And they were way too close for this be normal, the freak out would kick in any minute it was just the alcohol slowing both of them up…..Zelenka 3, Wraith nil… And Todd’s hair was actually surprisingly soft, like a dog’s fur…..He wasn’t sure which of them started it but suddenly they were kissing.

Booze…freak out any minute….was it only aliens who could do that with their tongues or had he been kissing the wrong humans…….His head span, he wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol.

He felt his shirt being eased up which should have set alarm bells ringing but didn’t. He didn’t realise until Todd had worked it by degrees up to his neck and chains clinked and a hand was pressing on his chest that-

Hell John that was stupid. What are they gonna tell McKay? He got drunk tried to chat up a Wraith and got-

It took him a while to realise that Todd wasn’t feeding, that his thumb was rubbing small circles just above John’s nipple and those claws were surprisingly smooth against skin and-

Huh.

He wondered briefly if that counted as four for Zelenka, then the enzyme hit his system in a rush.

“Jesuh-” He bit the word off quickly, gasping for air.

It was only a small dose, John knew that but holy…It was like the biggest damn adrenaline rush, like falling, like……holy shit. It was like all the blood in his body had suddenly decided to go south.

Everything seemed so slow. Todd gently taking his hand away, the pain gradually spreading out over his chest….His lungs were too tight…..And he was lying on a bunk with a Wraith. Lying on a bunk so far from sober he couldn’t see it on a clear day with a Wraith….And snuggling closer, panting in his arms and getting harder and jesusmaryandjoseph a Wraith.

That would be the freak out. Or may be it was the enzyme.

Either way he had tugged Todd closer; pressed against him, lips and tongues tying themselves in knots and god those teeth were sharp. Did that count as four for Zelenka? Or may be one for Todd and none for Sheppard? Hell.

His hands had taken the time to tangle themselves in Todd’s hair as if they were never gonna go anywhere else. Pulling him closer….gulping down air….Todd was growling softly into his mouth.

They broke off gasping. It made Sheppard feel slightly better to see the shocked expression on Todd’s face; he decided that that definitely made it four for Zelenka. For a while they stared at each other. The Wraith’s eyes flicked downwards. Sheppard had the sudden urge to cross his legs then he realised that wasn’t where Todd was looking….oh…oh. He muttered something nonsensical and started fumbling with the straps around Todd’s wrists.

Todd was laughing at him. Right so he couldn’t undo a simple buckle, that probably counted as another point for Zelenka…or….

“’S your fault,” Sheppard whispered, yanking at the strap and ignoring the dubious look Todd was giving him. “It is; you drugged me.”

The Wraith snorted, probably thinking that if John could give him half a bottle of booze-that-makes-you-go-blind then a few drops of enzyme were only fair.

The buckle gave suddenly. He should have been scared, he was lying next to a Wraith forgodsakes and just freed his hand. But if Todd wanted to feed on him he could have already. The hand came up slowly to rub against John’s cheek, making him shiver. Then it was gone. He bit back a whimper as Todd wrestled with the strap round his other hand. The restraining leather contraption was ripped away and tossed against the wall.

Todd’s hands crept up, fingers brushing Sheppard’s ribs, and settled on his shoulders. The grip tightened. He was eased onto his back, Todd slid over him. They were lighter then they looked, John thought blearily, then Todd leant forward and their lips touched, and for a while John didn’t think about anything. It was a strange haze, he closed his eyes and it felt like a dream, a bunch of random unrelated things and a mounting pressure in his crotch. Hands fumbled at his neck getting caught in his shirt. There was a growl, and a ripping sound. That would be hard to explain in the morning.

They broke off. Todd’s mouth moved to his neck, sharp teeth grazing his skin and those lips and that tongue which had to be a different shape or something because there was no way he could…..John’s back arched. Todd was making that growling sound again and his hand was jesusmaryandjoseph. The other hand clamped over John’s mouth muffling a groan. His hands had found their way out of Todd’s hair, they were gripping the shoulder plates of the Wraith’s coat…How did they get there?…..

It occurred to John that he shouldn’t be wearing that coat. He shifted trying not to dislodge Todd and brought a hand slowly round to Todd’s chest. This thing had to have some sort of catch or zip or something right? But Todd must have got the wrong idea….must have thought John was pushing him away because he was stopping, he was sitting up.

And if they stopped now they’d both think better of it.

John moaned, he tried to pull Todd back down but the Wraith was stronger. Of course he was stronger. He was going to get up and….May be he’d get into the top bunk and sleep. May be he’d pick up the restraints and knock on the door and go back to the cell. May be….

Todd took his coat off.

Huh.

He was wearing a-something-like a tunic or a long basketball vest underneath it. It was black well did you expect it to be purple? Sheppard chuckled, then Todd was on top of him again and latched onto his mouth as if they needed to press together to breathe. It would worry him in the morning, how easy it was to slip his hands around Todd’s waist, how natural it felt…….

He tugged at the edge of Todd’s tunic-thing and shoved his hands underneath to grasp at whatever it was Wraith had instead of shoulder blades. His skin was so smooth, hairless and firm. Todd hissed and-jesusmaryandjoseph….

He’d lifted Sheppard up and shoved his legs further apart. His hand had worked its way under John’s trousers and now Todd had a better angle it was on his ass and god…..That hand there doing…..and forcing his hips up, and Todd on top of him grinding into him and jesusmaryandjoseph it was a good thing there wasn’t anyone back on Atlantis who was gonna notice the claw marks on his ass.

John whimpered. He was already panting like a dog and forgodsakes it wasn’t as if either of them didn’t know where this was going. He brought his hands round to fiddle with Todd’s belt but that didn’t seem to want to work, so he tried yanking at the tunic. After a few mal-coordinated attempts he got it off. God that was a lot of tattoos.

Then Todd was pulling away again. His hand came away, taking a good sample of the skin from John’s back with it as his claws scraped over…..Sheppard made a noise that might have been a laugh if he wasn’t gasping for breath, because of course Todd didn’t have any trouble undoing his own belt, or Sheppard’s. He didn’t have trouble undressing the human beneath him, although there was a moment when John thought he was going to give up and rip his trousers off. That would have been hard to explain.

It didn’t take long, a few seconds and…..He was lying on a bunk under a naked Wraith, a very aroused, and clearly very interested naked Wraith……..That probably put Zelenka up to six points at least.

Todd leant over him, so close they were almost touching…almost….His left hand toyed briefly with Sheppard’s hair then trailed slowly down over his chest, cool fingers on flushed skin making Sheppard shiver. It continued down between his legs, to take his cock in a firm grip that had John gasping for him to please-

The Wraith purred. He shifted, letting go of John and turning him onto his stomach. Todd slid over him, he felt kisses and sharp teeth on his neck, strong hands on his shoulders holding him down and adding more scratches to his already marked hide. Todd’s hips pushed forward and….

“Jesus fuc-” It hurt oh god it hurt…..and…

And Todd was pulling out of him and starting to get up…….John grabbed his arm and dragged him back down.

“No,” He managed to splutter between gasps for air. “Don’t-don’t stop……Just…slower….”

Todd obliged. God it hurt, stretching like that, but he felt as if he was going to burst from the tension if he didn’t…… John buried his face into the covers on the bunk and bit down to muffle his groans. Todd moved in a slow steady rhythm, and gradually it was starting to feel better. Which probably makes it seven-

“Faster.” He whispered.

The tempo built up, harder thrusts burning as they thudded against his prostate making his back arch and every nerve in his body sing and god….Todd’s claws dug into his shoulders and he barely felt it over the pressure in, everywhere…..

Then he felt Todd shudder above him and realised….He yelled into the bedclothes in frustration as Todd withdrew, leaving him throbbing and swollen and aching for more. And Todd was getting up-fuckingWraithbastard…John yelped in surprise as Todd flipped him onto his back and was rewarded with a hand clamping over his mouth again.

Todd’s mouth closed over the head of his dick and godjesusmaryandjoseph-The hand on his mouth kept him pressed down and stifled his moans as Todd’s tongue……John had no idea what he was doing with his tongue, whatever it was it shouldn’t have been possible and goddamn…His hips bucked of their own accord giving him a few scratches in very tender places from those teeth. Then Todd took his cock deeper into his mouth and his tongue was and oh god.

John came in a rush, an orgasm that made his eyes roll back in his head and took a good ten minutes to come back down to reality from.

He lay spent, panting and exhausted, vaguely aware of Todd straightening and spitting a mouthful of come into the bin by the side of the bunk. Sheppard decided he’d be offended about that in the morning. The Wraith collapsed beside him again with a soft snorting noise. His head settled on John’s chest, over his heart. His arm curled over him to keep John close.

Sheppard fell asleep to the sound of Todd’s purring.

oOo

And then there was the next morning. Because nothing was ever that simple.

Sheppard woke when Todd fell off the bunk to retch into the bin and the head ache from hell appeared. Zelenka eight-

Then everything else came crashing in like the bailiffs of his body to settle last night’s debt. His head was pounding like a hummingbird’s heart, his mouth tasted like puke, his eyes were refusing to focus, his shoulders had dozens of deep scratches and the blood from them had clotted with the mangled bedclothes sticking him to the sheets. There were bite marks all over his neck, big and purple, and stinging scratches on his dick. And he wasn’t even gonna start on how much his ass hurt.

Sheppard pushed himself up into a sitting position, ignoring the various bits of his body lobbying for curling up to die. Todd retched again and Sheppard noticed that the foul smelling bile was dark, like Wraith blood…..Zelenka nine….

“Hey-” He whispered, wincing at the sound…noise was bad, very bad….

The Wraith growled at him. Sheppard decided that if he wanted to be like that he could…He tried to stand up and the head rush almost floored him. He sat heavily on the bunk again and cradled his poor head. He wondered if there was any hope his memory could be mistaken but between his various aches and the Wraith sitting over there naked and retching into the……It occurred to John that no one had ever been stupid enough to try and get a Wraith drunk before, so they had no idea what alcohol would do to them.

Shit.

He staggered over to the Wraith and knelt beside him. He suspected Todd would have been snarling at him, if he wasn’t so busy puking his guts up. Sheppard started reaching for him then thought better of it.

“Hey-” He started. “You ummm do you remember what….”

Todd turned to snarl at him, teeth bared and stained black from the blood he was bringing up. His skin had lost all the colour it had, leaving dark veins standing out as strongly as the tattoos on his forehead. Hell he looked sick. Sheppard pressed on, because he had to be sure….

“You remember what we did last night, right?”

“Yes.” He grunted, he didn’t sound particularly pleased. Sheppard couldn’t blame him.

“You uh…sick?”

Another warning growl.

“Right. That’s Zelenka’s…uh the alcohol.”

“You are not unwell.” Todd accused.

“I’m used to it.” He explained. Take that SGC…like to see you guys out drink a Wraith….

They stared at each other for a moment, then Todd groaned and was coughing over the bin again. John was in the middle of patting him sympathetically on the back when he realised they were both still naked. Zelenka ten…

He staggered to his feet and started collecting clothes. He winced every time he straightened, damning Zelenka and who thought it was a good idea to set up a still in Atlantis anyway and he was never drinking again. Ever. Because any chemical that could make him wake up with a….This is not happening.

He pulled on his boxers, noting a new hole just below the elastic which looked suspiciously Todd-induced, then tugged his trousers on. He examined his shirt and sighed because there was no way he could wear that but without it……

“Can I have this?” He asked, waving the tunic.

He didn’t wait for Todd’s answer, just pulled it over his head and moved on to worrying about how to cover the bite marks. The sheets….fuck the sheets…..He stumbled to the closet, pulled out the bag he’d taken back to Earth…..Clothes went flying until he found a jacket with a high neck. He threw it on and zipped it up, it’d have to do. He stuffed his tattered shirt into the bag and started stripping the bed in a frenzy. The looks Todd kept shooting his way suggested that the Wraith thought he was insane. John laughed.

“You have any idea what my people would do to me if they found out…”

“Do you know what mine would do to me?” Todd answered.

It was a fair point.

Sheppard rolled the sheets up and by some miracle of physical space they managed to fit into his bag. He zipped it up hastily before it changed its mind. He’d incinerate them. Put em in a puddle jumper engine when no one was around and fire the thing up to fly. No one would know.

He grabbed Todd clothes and dragged them over. Hauling the Wraith to his feet was surprisingly easy, Todd moaned quietly in protest and put a hand to his forehead.

“Stop that.” Sheppard ordered. “You need to get dressed, come on.”

Todd sunk back to the floor. Sheppard pulled him upright again and somehow managed to get him dressed and his coat done up right which was a minor miracle. How the hell did they get out of those things?

“You look like shit.” Sheppard observed.

The corner of his lip twitched into a sharp smirk. “You….do not appear to be in the best of health-either….Sheppard.”

It was a fair point.

They didn’t talk.

Eventually Sheppard strapped the restraints on him again and they both staggered out. He handed the Wraith back over to his guards and made some crack about Zelenka’s home-brew bringing the Wraith to their knees….

Once they were cleared and back on Atlantis he had a word with Kellar who promised to have a look at Todd in case Zelenka’s special really had poisoned him. She gave him a clean bill of health. And all bets were off again. Just like that. He told himself it was the moonshine’s fault. And the Midway. And the enzyme. And all that business just before on Earth with McKay’s sister. And Todd was probably high from feeding or something….

Of course none of those excuses would work the second time round. It wouldn’t change the fact he sometimes caught himself thinking of how much better those kisses had felt or the way he sometimes caught Todd looking at him.

The excuses wouldn’t work the second time, but until then they could circle each other like old enemies and pretend nothing had happened. And all bets were off.